Searching for housing in New York sucks. I don’t even need to go into detail – everyone already knows about the tiny, windowless closets people rent out for $2,000 a month, not to mention the bugs and the roommates and the apathetic landlords and the pet restrictions and fees.

What I’m finding most sucky, though, is the immediacy of it. I’m not moving out of this apartment until my lease is up in September, but I want to get shit locked. down. Everything on Craigslist and Gypsy Housing, though, is available RIGHT NOW ONLY. It makes me feel anxious just thinking about it.

Also, moving is expensive AF! Most places require first month’s rent (some first & last) along with a moving fee and pet deposit. I’m finally at a point where I have a little bit of money saved up, and now – poof. Goodbye, tattoo I kept saying I’d get this summer.

I’m feeling basically pretty good about everything going down in my personal life, but I’ve had a stank attitude at work lately. I don’t know, I’ve just started feeling like I’m on the verge of a seizure. Between emails and special projects and meetings and slack channels lighting up like a switchboard and social-professional obligations, it just feels like I’m running the pacer test in high school and burning slowly. I cried in front of my new manager this week, which was super cool.

I know I have a tendency to run away when the going gets tough and just, like, wipe all the papers off the desk and move to Ohio, so I’m trying to hang in there and stay rational and reasoned. I probably just need a little break.

In an effort to get out of town and do something fun and relaxing, my friend convinced me to go on a river tubing trip with her in New Jersey.

Now, I’ve been tubing before. I’m from the country. Tubing is not a particularly dangerous or harrowing excursion. You toss someone like $30 and float away in an innertube with some beer, and it’s lovely and freeing and independent. This tubing trip is, like, plastic wrapped, though. It was expensive as shit, first of all, and you have to, like, sign a waver, and go with a “trip guide” and there are rules and provided transportation and lunch and a brewery tour. Some of that may seem really cool to you, and if does, great! I’m just not a big “trip guide!” or “you have to bring water shoes!” gal. Like, I’ve got this. Thx.

But see – my attitude has been STANK lately. Tomorrow’s going to be ridiculously fun, I’m sure. Even if it’s a little corny and shrink wrapped, I’ll be out in nature with my friends drinking and floating down a river – it’s not going to be a bad experience.

Anyway, in other news, my dog had her 3 year pupperversary with us this week. This is something about which I have absolutely nothing negative to say.

We made her barbecue chicken for dinner (I’m a vegetarian, so she never gets chicken), and she had a cupcake before opening a present, which turned out to be a crinkly, squeaky bunny, and it was perfect.

The chicken disappeared immediately; she circled the cupcake for a few minutes hesitantly before smashing it and trying to shove 3/4 of it into her mouth at once, stopping to smack her lips for about 30 seconds every once in a while; and the bunny was a wet carcass within the half hour. By the end of the night, she was just lying on the ground, grinning at us and panting. What a sweet little monster.

Like my dog, I need to just fucking crush it. I need to devour what’s put in front of me and rip the shit out of bunnies, metaphorically speaking. Ugh. This summer is flying.

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